Responding
to criticism can be easy to do, when you learn to do so, assertively with
out attacking or surrendering to the criticism. You may respond to accurate
criticism appropriately by acknowledging the criticism with dignity, protecting
your self-esteem. Inaccurate criticism can be responded to by "fogging",
a gentle technique that protects you and doesn't attack the critic. Vague
or over-generalized criticism can be responded to with an appropriate technique
of questioning to clarify the issue.
Accurate Criticism
The first step is to acknowledge the criticism and any truth there
is to the statement. When the criticism is accurate, acknowledge so, by
saying you're right and paraphrasing the criticism, so you both know what
you are in agreement about. If a thank you or an explanation seems appropriate,
then briefly do so and get on with other things. Don't dwell on the criticism,
yet be determined about ways in which you can learn from it.
Record Below Three Examples Of Accurate Criticisms And How You
Would Respond:
Criticism:____________________________________________________________________________
Response:_____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:____________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:____________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Inaccurate Criticism
When you are given an inaccurate criticism, you can use "fogging"
as a technique to respond. This involves a token agreement with the critic
by agreeing only in part. Example: If someone says you are undependable
you can respond by saying that you sometimes forget appointments. You are
not agreeing that you are undependable and you are acknowledging that you
do forget on occasion. You can also agree about the possibility of the
critic being right, by responding with, "Yes, I might be undependable at
times." You could also agree just with the principle of the criticism by
restating the principle behind the criticism, such as,
"You're right, being late is undependable."
Record
Below Three Examples Of Inaccurate Criticisms And How You Would Respond:
Criticism:
___________________________________________________________________________
Response:
___________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Response:
__________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Response:
__________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Vague
or Over-Generalized Criticism
A
lot of criticism is vague and needs to be clarified with questioning before
you can decide how to respond. Stay away from why questioning and use how,
what, where and when questioning to clarify the details. Example: If someone
says that what you are doing annoys them, ask specifically how it is annoying
and when it annoys.
Record
Below Three Examples of Vague and Over-generalized Criticisms and How You
Would Respond:
Criticism:
___________________________________________________________________________
Response:
__________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:
___________________________________________________________________________
Response:
__________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:
__________________________________________________________________________
Response:
__________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Response:______________________________________________________________________________________
Response:______________________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:
___________________________________________________________________________
Criticism:
___________________________________________________________________________