The following formula can be used to communicate effectively and gently:

I feel _______________(A)_________________, when you _________(B)___________, and _________________(C)________________________ would be a great solution.

1. Always start with an I statement. It provokes less of a defensive reaction than starting by saying, "You make me feel.." State clearly and accurately how you feel. You may feel angry, hurt, or sad.
2. Next tell the person what they did to make you feel that way. Do not be judgmental by saying something like, "when you are mean to me." Instead, state exactly what it is they did, such as raise their voice, not return your call, or used a label you don't like.
3. Then, tell them exactly what it is you expect them to do the next time, so they don't have to guess. Be clear about your expectations.

Record Below Three Examples Of How You Could Use The Communication Formula:

1. I feel ______________________________ when you ____________________________________ and ____________________________________________________ would be a great solution.
2. I feel ______________________________when you ____________________________________ and ____________________________________________________ would be a great solution.
3. I feel ______________________________when you_____________________________________ and ____________________________________________________ would be a great solution.