"Some where along the line of development we discover who we really are, and then we make a real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and who you become yourself." ¾ Eleanor Roosevelt
The decision to make a commitment to continuing our progress is a
daily opportunity we can celebrate three hundred and sixty five times a
year. In this section you will develop a game plan for what it is you want,
and commit to it. In part one of this workbook you made an assessment of
both your strengths and weaknesses and took a look at what beliefs and
values were supporting or limiting you in your desires. You took a look
at your environment and what was nurturing in it and what wasn't. You analyzed
your behaviors as to which ones were beneficial in coping with ADD and
which ones weren't. By now you should have good knowledge of what it is
you need and want to develop within yourself to be better able to manage
the challenges of daily life with ease and joy. Congratulate yourself,
you've done some good work.
This section is designed to clarify your most important goal. the
one you have determined from Part One that you would like to work on first.
This is the one that will give you the strongest boost for that upward
spiral that you have already begun to embark upon. Once you have a good
start working on this first goal, and decide to begin working on others,
the same process can be used to clarify goals and design strategies to
get there. List below what you need, and want, to cope effectively with
your ADD and put a star by the most important one, so you can begin to
work on that first.
Example: The most important thing to me right now is to get my work
space organized and running efficiently. Organization comes first and time
management comes second. I need to know where things are and then I need
to know where I am supposed to be and at what time. I need to find systems
that work for me; ones that I will use. Some additional goals may include:
better social graces, improved conversational skills, healthier eating
habits, routine exercise patterns, more patience, better concentration,
the ability to respond calmly and appropriately, or the ability to be quiet
and still when expected.
Go for it! List them all, but put a star by that special one that
you're going to tackle first; the one that clearly needs attention. the
one you'll hoot and holler about just as soon as you make some progress.
Now that you know what it is you are committed to developing first, the following exercise will help you clarify and strengthen your commitment. Describe below what it is you are starting to achieve already, by performing this exercise, in a positive reference. Describe what it is you are adding to your life and not what is being taken away. State what it is you want, and not what it is you don't want. Make your goal something positive to move toward, not something negative to move away from. Focus on ways to grow by creating new options, developing new strengths, expanding your beliefs, learning new skills, and nurturing yourself in new ways.
Example: Instead of saying, "I want to lose weight," you would say, "I want to have healthy eating habits and a good exercise routine." People with healthy eating habits and a good exercise routine are not overweight. The focus and emphasis is on what is healthy, appetizing, nurturing, energizing and satisfying. What do you clearly see yourself doing? What are you telling yourself that's pleasing to hear? How enthusiastic are you feeling?
Describe what it is you want using criteria that can be measured.
Example: If you say you want to be happy, how would you measure happy? What is happy? Happy to me, may be quite different than happy to you. Be as specific as you can in describing and defining what it is you want. Instead of saying, "I want to be happy," you might say, "I want to be smiling a lot, laughing, and humming to myself as I work." You may want to feel peaceful and describe it by saying, "I want to feel peaceful, by responding to others slowly and gently. I want to speak in a soft quiet voice, saying kind and respectful things, like, `I am grateful to have you for a friend.'." Define your goal using criteria that are measurable and will allow you or anyone else to know they have been met, once you have attained your goal.
To put the finishing touches on your commitment, think about the magnitude of what it is you are in the process of committing to. Is getting your whole office organized too big of a project to start with? You may want to start with just your desk or just your computer files. Adjust the size of the task so that it seems comfortable for you.
Positive Description Of My Commitment:
The following questions are designed to clarify and strengthen the commitment you have just made toward accomplishing your goal.
How would you know you had it?
How is it possible for you?
What would be an example of it?
What stops you from having it?
Would it really be OK if you had it?
Do you really want it? (explain how and what for)
How is it of value?
How would family, friends etc. respond?
When do you want it and when do you not?
Is it within your power to do this?
Are you willing to do what it takes?
What would happen if you get it?
Having obtained the desired result, what is the worth?
Will you miss or lose anything of real value when you get it?
What would you be doing and saying?
What would you be thinking?
How would the world look to you?
How would others know you had it?
How does it fit with short term goals?
How would it fit with long term goals?
How
would it fit 10 years from now?
I haven't, as a coach, over motivated any of my clients yet, so at the risk of that happening, I've decided to include these next exercises. If you think they have motivated you more than necessary, call or write me and we'll figure out what to do next. That's what coaches are for.
I have the capabilities necessary to achieve the goal
because
therefore
after
while
whenever
so that
if
although
in
the same way that
I want to achieve my goal:
because
therefore
after
while
whenever
so
that
if
although
in
the same way that
I will achieve my goal:
because
therefore
after
while
whenever
so
that
if
although
in
the same way that